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Greetings to all who love to wander along the paths of the Holy Scriptures! The purpose of this blog is to share some of the insights of ordinary Catholics who have begun to delve into the mysteries of the Sacred Scriptures. Hopefully you will find these reflections inspiring and insightful. We are faithful to the Church, but we are not theologians; we intend and trust that our individual reflections will remain within the inspired traditions of the Church. (If you note otherwise please let me know!) Discussion and comments are welcome, but always in charity and respect! Come and join us as we ponder the Sacred Scriptures, which will lead us on the path into His heart, which "God alone has traced" Job 28:23.
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts

Monday, April 14, 2014

Into Your Hands I Commend My Spirit

“Though all may have their faith in you shaken,
mine will never be
.” Matthew 26:33

It has been a tough Lent for me, a long dry spell in prayer has continued though, not completely without respite.  Along with that a family situation suddenly came upon us that will continue to demand much prayer, love and sacrifice into an uncertain future.  And here I am with nothing to offer, not a thing.  One day, as my husband and I were waiting on some news with our loved one, I reflected on how empty I felt, how impoverished I was in this particular situation.  How impoverished I had always been.  I stand at a crucial moment, like Peter at his denial of the Lord, relying on my own store of love and fidelity and I find am empty! In that emptiness, fear, resentment and bitterness were threatening to invade. “Lord!”  I cried, “I have no love!” 

The Lord GOD is my help,
therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
knowing that I shall not be put to shame.  Isaiah 50:7


It was a Thursday, so, since I had nothing to do but wait, I prayed the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary.  Oh, because of my dryness in prayer I tried to distract myself with other things, but in the end I relented to the call to pray.  I don’t think I ever finished it, because as I prayed the second Luminous mystery, The Wedding of Cana I began to realize that Our Blessed Mother was helping me to ask for His love to minister to this situation, and in fact to overflow into my past failures to endure in love and faithful patience.  In turn, I was being invited to wait on the Lord.  How can one trust such an intuition?  How can one cling to it with nothing to see as proof it will come to fruition?

He trusted in God;
let him deliver him now if he wants him.  Matthew 27:43

But as I have journeyed through this Lent the meditation of waiting on the Lord has kept coming back.  I went to a day of reflection given by the Institute of Priestly Formation.  We meditated on trusting and waiting on the Lord, especially in situations where our own love cannot suffice.  We wait on His perfect love to flow our through us.

But Mary Magdalene and the other Mary
remained sitting there, facing the tomb
.  Matthew 27:61

And I wait, with hope and faithfulness for what I don’t quite know.  I walk forward into this uncertain situation with the trust that what I need will be given when I need it.  I wait with Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, facing the tomb, not knowing but trusting.  I wait relying not on my own strength, but on the strength of the One who conquers all.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:6-11


Into your hands Lord, I commend my spirit
Blessed Holy Week,
Heidi

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Sass Master in Mordor: A Meditation on Evil


One of the most terrifying insights into evil that I have ever read was in C. S. Lewis' second book of his space trilogy, Perelandra.  In this book the hero, a man named Ransom, was charged with protecting an un-fallen planet and its inhabitants from suffering a fate like that of Earth's. He finds himself engaged in a battle of wits with the Evil One, who has possessed the body of the arrogant and deluded Professor Weston.  This un-man (as Lewis names it) is trying to tempt the Lady who inhabits this paradise to break the one rule that has been given her by Maledil (Jesus/God).  The demonic corpse beguiles the woman with many subtle temptations to vanity and to envy.  His preternatural intellect and cunning are slowly winning, but every once and a while the woman (and Ransom) need to rest.  When the demon is "off-duty" with only Ransom for company what we see is something quite different from the sly subtlety of  his temptation of the Lady of Perelandra.

"He (Ransom) had full opportunity to learn the falsity of the maxim that the Prince of Darkness is a gentleman....It was not like dealing with wicked politicians at all: It was much more like being set to guard an imbecile, or a monkey, or a nasty child.  What          had staggered and disgusted him when it first began saying "Ransom.....Ransom....."  continued to disgust him every day and every hour.  It showed plenty of subtlety and intelligence when talking to the Lady; but Ransom soon perceived that it regarded intelligence simply and solely as a weapon.....Thought was for it a device necessary to certain ends, but thought in itself did not interest it." Perelandra; Scribner 1972; pg. 110
In fact, Ransom had to endure long hours of this Un-man amusing itself by mutilating animals and plants, or performing juvenile obscenities with the body it inhabited, and endlessly, pointlessly repeating his name over and over again: "Ransom, Ransom, Ransom" When Ransom would respond it would say "nothing".

I bring this up because on Tuesday I took the Sass Master (aka Sophia) and her two year old brother to participate in our parish's day to keep the vigil for 40 Days For Life at a local Planned Parenthood facility. I told her we were going to Mordor (yes, I have just gone from Lewis to Tolkien).  Mordor is a place where the goodness of creation is corrupted and manipulated to such an extent that it becomes hell to everyone  It is a place where identity is based solely on material productivity and therefore everyone loses their authentic and God given human identity (along with their God given human rights). Here human freedom is cast off for enslaving licentiousness under the watch of a despotic eye whose main strategy is to cut you off from your true identity and from any hope in anything beyond the breath and vapors of this world. But, I digress.

 I am being so dramatic because the world around me seems so sleepy on this subject, and the temptation to despair every time I engage in this battle is growing; a creeping awareness that in the face of powers and principalities, who am I?  The cunning of our enemy is formidable - to lull us into the sleepy complacency that abortion is simply a medical option for those who are in hard situations, relieving us, the larger community, of the burden of having to provide assistance for both a mother and a baby.  Or, if a person has a more awakened sense of charity , the enemy will corrupt the ideal of fighting for human rights, cynically diminishing our idea of what is a worthwhile human life to expend our resources on.  As a result we have impassioned people, who in the name of defending human rights, perversely end up on a slippery slope to despotism, placing the right to life on the shifting sands of the ever elusive concept of who is human enough to warrant the effort to defend said rights.  Yet, when we undermine the right to life, we undermine all our rights, and give the powers-that-be in a given time way to much authority over determining whose rights they will defend and uphold.

This battle is difficult to engage. But, engage we must, with prayer and endurance.  We who stand for the right to life to be firmly and decisively placed at the moment of conception will stand our ground.  We have truth and science on our side.  They have lies and distortions.  Do you know what I often discover when we firmly stand our ground in the face of evil?  That evil at it's core is tedious and infantile, and when it cannot dissuade you through cunning, it will simply provoke it's minions to taunting or obscene displays of profanity and silly, juvenile acts.  Hence the description of evil, and how banal and utilitarian it really is by C.S.Lewis, is truly insightful.

So it should not surprise anyone, that while our group received a good deal of encouraging thumbs up, there were others who shouted out curses at us (along with the profane gestures) or who menacingly watched us as they repeatedly (and at a distance) circled the block we were on. But most silly, and disturbing, of all was the actions of an elderly man.  He had approached my friend Angie earlier.  She was holding a sign showing a baby in the 6th month of fetal development.  Apparently he wanted to know what we were doing.  He began to ask her what her sign said, and Angie cheerfully turned around to show him the picture.  As soon as he saw it he stopped talking mid sentence, grunted "OH" turned around and left.  Angie looked back at me, we both shrugged (Angie, who has a much more generous heart than me, actually smiled and said "I'm not sure what that was about.").  But that old guy had more to reveal to us about the depth of his soul.

As an elderly couple, who were taking our place, were busy getting set up and Angie and I were preparing to leave, a shabby pickup quickly drove up in the parking lot we had our backs to. I was holding the Sass Master, and she was resting her head on my shoulder, her face toward the parking lot while her brother was securely strapped in his stroller, when I felt a splash on my neck and Sophia jumped.  I turned around to see this old man with a spray bottle full of what I believe was water -  shooting it at us cackling the whole way!  Sophia was hit square in the face, (otherwise no one would have noticed because he was spraying us from behind and we were all covered in coats and long sleeves, as it was a bit cold out).

Was he defending the "right to choose"?  Was he just a weak-minded coward who gets his jollies pranking woman, children and the elderly?  What point was he making to spray a four year old girl in the face?  (My dear friend Angie - who only noticed what happened because of Sophia's startled yelp -  in her completely un-cynical and gracious heart thought that possibly he was spraying holy water on us....yeah, old men often bless a group by sneaking behind them to spray them cackling as they speed off).  In reality, C.S.Lewis sums up his actions, and the cause that provoked them perfectly, and also the actions of many other groups that stand against Truth:

"If the attack had been of some more violent kind it might have been easier to resist.  What chilled and almost cowed him was the union of malice and something nearly childish....Indeed, no imagined horror could have surpassed the sense which grew within him as the slow hours passed, that this creature was by all human standards inside out- it's heart on the surface and its shallowness at the heart.  On the surface great designs and an antagonism to Heaven which involved the fate of the worlds:  but deep within, when every veil had been pierced, ...nothing but a black puerility, an aimless empty spitefulness content to sate itself with the tiniest cruelties, as love does not disdain the smallest kindness." (Perelandra; pg106)
Actually, it was Angie's gracious remark that provided the best defense against this man's darkness.  How can his malicious intent stand when your target is so willing to shrug it off?  How can darkness prevail when you are with someone so focused on the light?

So what to do from here?  Stand our ground, fight the good fight and put on the armor of God (to which my fellow blogger, Joze, suggested that we add goggles to) and as Saint Paul wrote from his prison cell:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if the is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4:8-9
And so we will!  The Sass Master (who -  true to her sassy nickname -  was completely unruffled by the incident and quickly concluded that since we were in Mordor that man must have been an orc) is ready, and so am I!  But with goggles!

photo by Heidi Knofczynski

Peace and Grace!
Heidi



Saturday, September 24, 2011

Justice vs Fairness Continued



 As we read  last Sunday, God's ways are far above ours, but we are called to open wide our hearts and minds to receive His wisdom, His transcendence. Proverbs 9:10 states that: "The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord, and knowledge of the Holy one understanding."  This Sunday's readings begins with Ezekiel:
Ezekiel 18: 25-28
Thus says the Lord:  "You say, the Lord's way is not fair!"  Hear now, House of Israel:  Is it my way that is unfair, or rather are not your ways unfair?  When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit inequity and dies, it is because of the inequity that he must die.  But if he turns from the wickedness that he has committed, he does what is right and just, he shall preserve his life; since he has turned away from all the sins he has committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
It is in this reading that we see that the House of Israel's perception of what is fair, is not God's!  I am instantly brought back to last weeks post in which justice, God's justice, is compared with our human fairness.  It is not that fairness in and of itself is always wrong, but when we are cut lose from transcendent justice (God's ways), fairness is only based on the most superficial concepts of justice, and it often can only address the material realities, which leaves us blind to the ultimate unseen realities, and adrift in moral relativism! Grave injustice will always be the result, because this kind of superficial justice is blind (and not in the impartial sense) and cannot address the sickness in human souls, it can only respond to the outward manifestations of the inequities that hold individual souls hostage.  We become enslaved to the sin, because we cannot see it, and each one of us becomes weaker. And so, abortion becomes a difficult, but, compassionate solution to inequities in our social response to crises pregnancies.

 It is much harder to struggle to provide justice for the innocent child and the mother, but that is real justice, and it is not always comfortable.  True justice requires a deeper understanding of the the transcendence of God and of the ultimate eternal nature of each and every human being. We need to understand that to turn from virtue means death, eternal death.  We must be obstacles to that a turn that means death!

In the Pope's German address he says " we must rediscover our capacity to perceive God, a capacity that exists within us." In order to do this, we must understand how much we need God's mercy!  Collectively and individually.  "Ezekiel points out that we need to turn from our inequity, and we will receive God's mercy. But alas, we need a bit of perspective and perception to do that!  For this we need to allow the Spirit to give us a truer vision of the Lord, and a truer vision of who we are before the Almighty.

  And from here the readings flow into Philippians for the encouragement and further guidance needed in the light of Christ!
Phill 2 1-11
Brothers and Sisters if there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy, complete my joy by being of the same mind with the same love, united in heart thinking one thing.  Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory, rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves. each looking out not for his own interest, but also for those of others.  Have in you the same attitude that is also in Christ Jesus, who, though was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped.  Rather, he emptied himself, taking on the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance he humbled himself becoming obedient even to the point of death, even death on a cross.  Because of this God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every other name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father forever!
I must admit that Paul always gives me cause to pause and self examine, "do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory" (even blogging!)  Always  "humbly regard others as more important that yourselves"  As a frail and fallible human being, and as a mother, I know that this takes practice, and guidance and a vision that is strong in perceiving beauty and truth. And since I cannot uproot Paul from Sacred Scriptures, I have to read it in light of Ezekiel, to always be aware that God's justice is much higher than mine, and the mercy we bestow must always be guided with the keen awareness of the immortality of each and every soul.  We must in every way be stumbling blocks to those who are turning or have turned from the path of virtue! And we must be humbly vigilant over our own souls as well.

  How we need to be emptied of our selfishness and our vainglory to begin to truly move forward in authentic justice and lasting mercy! How we need to recover our sight , to recognize the holiness and authority of Christ Jesus, who showed us the way to the Wisdom of God!   How we need to have our eyes opened to the glimpses of the almighty and transcendent Lord, to open our hearts and turn away from the superficial, grasping at justice, to turn away from our ideas of fairness that encourage complacency and discourage virtue. We need to open wide our hearts, minds and souls to God who is pouring his love and mercy out upon us. We need to have our spiritual vision restored, or we will be like the Pharisees in the gospel, complacent and comfortable in their understanding of the Scriptures and of God,  unable to understand authentic justice, even when He is standing right in front of us!  

May the Lord grant each of us the heart mind and humility to seek Him in truth, to show us his paths and to remember not  the sins of our past!
Heidi