Journaling with Sharon and the Father

Unless you become as a little child...

Beset with many tasks and sensing myself sliding into a feeling of being overburdened, I was drawn to an earlier journal entry-- a prayer that began this way:

 

“Hold onto the sense you are receiving,” I hear that word this morning Dear Lord.  You have taken me back to remembering my sense of things as a little child:

·         I didn’t worry about shelter, home, or food, or having a place to sleep.
·         Things may have been changing all around, there was a war going on, but I felt okay—that everything was being taken care of.
·         And, it wasn’t my responsibility—it was in the hands of others and my parents didn’t put those burdens on me.

 And You say to me, Dear God “Unless you become as a little child, you shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven.”  I probably don’t have the exact words, but that is what I remember.  Today I see a particular meaning for me in being a “little child”, and that is having that “sense” that everything is being taken care of—the world, all of us, are in Your hands, your Loving Hands, and you do not burden us with that which we cannot do. Rather, You teach us to listen with our hearts, from our unifying central core, so that we may move with You, doing, taking care of that which You have placed before us, given to us, as our responsibility. We learn in our teenage to young adult process to go from outer controls to inner controls.  We meet the challenges of our calling. You have called me to a holy Mother.  I am formed in motherhood and I have that gift to offer, mothering where it has been lacking as Father Flanagan “fathered” boys who had missed good fathering-- protection and guidance, provision and modeling.  So today, Dear Lord, I willingly move as Mother—nurturing, guiding, always caring, loving and letting go so my sons and daughters may grow. I was moved by the recent penguin story on Public TV’s “Nature”—how the parent penguins move away, longer and longer distancing, so the growing young will learn how to find them, and in the process, the young penguins develop physical strength that prepare them for life on their own. You, Dearest Father, Brother Jesus, Holy Spirit, sometimes appear to be far away.  Yet you are present, teaching us, teaching me, how to seek and find so that I may be nourished by You.  And in the process, my spirit is strengthened, preparing me for what lies ahead. Thank you, Dear Father that all is in Your Hands; Thank you, Dear Jesus, for teaching us by Your Life and dying, the Way, the Truth and Life;  Thank you, Dear Holy spirit, for moving our hearts and empowering us to express them for building up the body, the kingdom, the place where God is at home.  Thank you for showing me what it means for me to become as a little child.

Now and forever, 

 Your Sharon

 

As I listen, I hear the Lord say to me:

Beloved of My Heart,

            Yes, as you are free of bitter roots and regrets, you are able to sense my protective, caring, teaching, guiding, providing presence—LOVE, all works of love.  I have prepared you as a loving Mother—you wanted to be a Sister, and I have formed you as Mother.  Mother superior!  What a good laugh you are having over that one!  I show you the path to life, fullness of joy in My Presence and bliss forever at My Right Hand.

            Stay with Me, beloved, as I stay with you.  Remember My words:

            “I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  I will put My Spirit within you so that you walk in my statutes, observe my ordinances, and keep them.”  (As did Jesus)  Ezekiel: 36.26

            “We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works.”  (Hebrews 19.24)

            Jesus said, “To the one who has something, more will be given.”  (Mark 4.25)  The more you are open to the word of God, the more you receive.  God does not hold back!

                  

I love you, Dear Heart, now and forever,

Abba

Praying With Scripture

"Prayer is the beginning and the end. Reading the Bible is not like reading a novel or history book." (although it does contain books which are fictional and some that are historical) "It should begin with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to open our hearts and minds to the Word of God. Scripture reading should end with a prayer that the Word will bear fruit in our lives, helping us to become holier and more faithful people." USCCB

One of my favorite ways to reflect on Scriptures is called lectio devina, where one reads a passage once, takes time to reflect, reads it a second time, takes time to reflect a second time, reads a third time, and reflects a third time, at each reflection listening carefully to what the Holy Spirit is speaking to one's heart, mind and soul.

I will read today's readings first, then choose which one I will reflect upon.

It will be today's second reading. They all call to me in different ways, but this will be the one.

Think of God's mercy, brothers, and worship him, I beg you, in a way worthy of thinking beings, by offering your living bodies as a holy sacrifice, truly pleasing to God. Do not model yourselves on the behavior of the world around you, but let your behavior change, modelled by your new mind. This is the only way to discover the will of God and to know what is good, what it is that God wants, what is the perfect thing to do. Rom. 12:1-2

pause...

Rinse and repeat twice.

Now ready to begin. What stood out? "What is good? What is it that God wants? What is the perfect thing to do?" I remember the first reading in Jeremiah, his burning desire to speak, struggling with fear of what others might think. People did often reject him. He spoke as a fiery prophet. I remember Peter in the Gospel, taking Jesus aside and speaking what was in his heart and being emphatically rejected, by Jesus no less. For me, very hurtful. Maybe Peter had tougher skin than I and Jesus knew he could take it. Peter did not understand the task that Jesus had to do, the extreme religious intolerance that He had to overcome, and Jesus was frustrated with him. Later Peter would reject Jesus three times in his hour of agony. Not the perfect thing to do.

I wonder if Jesus comforted Peter later...aside. Remember that comment about getting behind me...?

"Think of God's mercy."

I see Jesus later, not in today's readings, but something that comes to mind, Jesus serving fish and bread for breakfast to the disciples that had abandoned him. I see Peter, forgiven and still loved by Jesus, at Pentecost, baptizing thousands of people of every language who finally understand one another, who have found a way through the aid and power of the Holy Spirit to worship God as thinking beings, overcoming language barriers. Wow, what mercy. We are all still benefiting. Just look at it this way--internet is the fruit of pentecostal communication!

What do I learn? What is the perfect will of God? In my life. Mercy. It is easy to look at Jeremiah and Peter and Jesus and provide commentary about their actions. It is also easy to want the adreneline rush of being a prophet, a prophet who believes that they alone bear the word of God when no one else understands. However, it doesn't feel like the right kind of good. My "righteousness" ends up being won at the expense of the ignorance or mistakes of others. Holy Spirit, how can I turn this around? Hmm. It does feel good to be right. What is right?

Pause. Open the eyes of my heart. Look over the Scriptures again. What is the word which speaks to my heart.

"As thinking human beings," I will hold that in my heart today. In my mind. I do not know what fruit it will bear, but that is my "word of the day". I suspect it will involve making meals, listening to those around me, modelling good decision-making for my children regarding how we will spend our day, learning as my children model kindness to me. Maybe writing someone a note, coming to a mutual understanding, forgiving and being forgiven...these things are right. After a day like that we always feel all good.

End in prayer. Thank you Holy Spirit for inspiring Paul to write to his friends, the church in Rome. Thank you St. Paul...we appreciate you taking the time to write. Heavenly Father, thank you for your love, providence, and care today...In Jesus' Name. Amen.