She left Samuel there

1 Sm 1:24-28

In those days,

Hannah brought Samuel with her,

along with a three-year-old bull, and ephah of flour, and a skin of wine,

and presented him at the temple of the LORD in Shiloh.

After the boy's father had sacrificed the young bull, 

Hannah, his mother, approached Eli and said:

"Pardon, my lord!

As you live, my lord,

I am the woman who stood near you here, praying to the LORD.

I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request.

Now I, in turn, give him to the LORD;

as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the LORD."

She left Samuel there.

"She left Samuel there"

That last line is a difficult one for me to read. Did he cry? Did she long to take him back? Why would such a sacrifice be needed? This child, Samuel, factors big in salvation history and he is close to the Lord in a mysterious way! He hears the Lord and he responds to His voice; maybe it is because his mother's generosity and trust in the Lord removed obstacles of fear and doubt.  Me, on the other hand, well, my fear of pain as well as my satisfaction with the world sometime prevent me from really listening to the Lord and from wholly offering myself to Him.  As I struggle with that last line, I am being asked to open my heart, to feel the longing and sorrow Hannah must have had in leaving her much loved son and trust in the mysterious majesty of God!  A sacrifice made with trusting love is re-payed with unfathomable generosity that flows from generation to generation. 

Withhold nothing from God!

Read Hannah's canticle to God after she has left Samuel with Eli.  Though her sacrifice was costly, she knows God is at work.  Hannah's canticle foreshadows Mary's, who also holds nothing back from God. Neither woman lets the fear of pain or gnawing anxiety over impending loss harden their hearts or dampen their joy. They do not protect themselves from their sorrow by withholding their love. This makes the pain of their loss more intense I think, yet it also disposed them to receive the intense love of God all the more. Their whole lives are an offering to God and their hearts are always in trusting prayer. They understand that all that they have is God's and that nothing can be withheld from Him. They trust in The Lord who fulfills His promises to even the barren, or a lowly young women of Nazareth.

 Luke 1: 46-56:

Mary Said:

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;

my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

For he has looked upon his lowly servant,

from this day all generations will call me blessed:

the Almighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him 

in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm,

and has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel

for he remembered his promise of mercy.

the promise he made to our fathers,

to Abraham and his children forever."

Rejoice in His redeeming mercy!

The sorrows and sacrifices of this world should always whisper to us "in the beginning it was not so", and in so doing reveal to us that we are indeed souls in exile; we are separated from the Heavenly Bridegroom.  If only we can allow his redeeming mercy to scatter out attachments.  If we do not allow these attachments to be sent away from our hearts our hopes for things eternal will become weak, and our fears will control us!  We will settle for so much less than what God has in mind for each one of us.  We have to learn to allow God to let us long for what is truly lasting; and trust in His faithfulness in filling the empty spaces in our souls. Allow Hannah and Mary's wholehearted trust to get you in touch with the holy longing in your soul -- a longing that is as poignant as a mother who longs for her child. Trust, like Mary and Hannah did, that someday we will see that the longing we so often fill with worldly things be fulfilled in abundance. It is in that longing that we should rejoice,  because that longing is drawing us to Him.

God is faithful in all that He promises!

 Hannah hears and responds to God in her longings, for a son, and then her longing for him in sorrow after letting him go to fulfill God's plan.  God responds to her longing and sorrow.   Her trust in the Lord makes straight the way for God's salvation for generations to come!  God is the one who will soothe all of these sorrows in the end, because all of them reveal our world's need to be made new.  Mary does not reject what she does not fully comprehend.   She does not hide away from the pain and sacrifice she will face with her son, foretold by the Scriptures and by Simeon. She loves deeply and her heart is pierced deeply.  There is nothing superficial or lukewarm about these women.  Their sorrow is deep, but their everlasting joy is deeper still because they seek joy from God!

What is God asking of me?

He is asking for me to trust in Him in sorrow and in joy, and to hold nothing back from Him.  To cast down the fear, envy and pride that keep my hopes from the heights of heaven. To let go of even good things if they are keeping my heart from Him. To seek the Heavenly Bridegroom in whom all my longing will be fulfilled! 

Grace and Peace to all!
Heidi

Pondering Mary

O Mary, most perfect ponderer and manager

 Of life's suffering and pain,

Show me your key to dealing

 With all loss or gain.

What thoughts you held,

 What psalm you reviewed,

 What helped you most

 To make it through.

You lived poverty, exile and shame, 

 Yet handled stress well.

What did you ponder,

  What prayers did you tell?
 O sweet Mother help me experience this grace,

 So I may have the peace of Jesus
As I run this race!

"My heart was not my own
It belonged to my Son.
I followed his lead
 Until his battle was won.
With Him inside me and beside me,
I lived only for Him.
I loved as I laughed with joy,
Loved as I cried about sin.
My whole life I spent pondering
The greatest love,
A heavenly gift of the Father
From way far above.
Who existed before, forever
And then
Decided to come
To make ransom for men.
One who could pay back
Our debt for all crime,
To wipe our slates clean
Time after time.
With enduring love
And selfless grace,
My Son came to be
And we looked face to face.
My eyes never wavered,
My ears always open,
To whatever He did
And to what was spoken.
My pure focus:  Jesus
My redeemer and Son,
The fruit of my womb,
For everyone.
When God's love is the center
Of all that you do
The rest of your life
Can only be right and true. 
So look on my Jesus,
Invite Him in,
Follow His ways
And you will win."




Poem by Janet Goodwin
on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

Of His Most Astounding Mercy, and Her Most Immaculate Beauty!

I love the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception!

The readings for this Solemnity start with the Genesis story which contains what we are taught is the Protoevangelium:  The first announcement of the Messiah Redeemer.

I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel."  Gen: 3:15

In this passage we are shown that even at the moment of our most profound failures the God of the universe never abandons us.    He never gives up on us. NEVER!  It is also a passage which did not yeild its full significance until the Gospel of Christ is revealed to us. I have linked you to a John Paul the Great general audience on The Protoevangelium of Salvation, I highly encourage you to read it!  Here is a snippet:

The analysis of the "protoevangelium" informs us, by means of the announcement and promise contained in it, that God has not abandoned the human race to the power of sin and death. He wished to rescue and save it. He did so in his own way, according to the measure of his transcendent holiness, and at the same time according to a self-effacement such as only a God of love could display."

I think that the line "according to the measure of his transcendent holiness, and at the same time according to a self-effacement such as only a God of love could display." are tremendous words to ponder, and especially in light of His great gift to us of the Blessed Mother!  Those words are referring to Christ's obedient sacrifice, in which Adam's sin is undone, but that sacrifice is also reflected in the obedient fiat of Mary, who was the chosen woman to reverse the disobedience of Eve.  In my more reflective moments, I cannot fathom our God's self-effacement. God, whose power and might are so great that Moses cannot look upon His face and live, yet He wills to be born into this world of a woman, so as to lift up womanhood, in fact, motherhood (and ultimately all of redeemed humanity) to a high beauty and magnificence that cannot be contained in this world.  He then gives this woman to us to be our mother as well, and in all this she gives her total "fiat".  

Just contemplating Mary reduces me to a puddle of emotion, and I am not an emotional person, but the gift of Mary as my mother touches me - and mystifies me profoundly! Only a God of unfathomable tender mercy would know that our hardened hearts cannot withstand the love of a mother, a mother who freely, with unrestrained love and complete trust in God said yes to the Incarnation and all the sacrifice, suffering (and yes, also joy) that came with it.  She entrusted her whole self to Him in order for God's salvation for each of us to be fulfilled.

Consider this passage from Pope Benedict XVI's newest book:  Jesus of Nazareth, The Infancy Narratives, as our Pope reflects on the moments after the angel Gabriel has departed from her, and of the great reserves of faith that she was gifted with in her Immaculate heart:

The great hour of Mary's encounter with God's messenger - in which her whole life is changed - comes to an end, and she remains there alone, with a task that truly surpasses all human capacity.  There are no angels standing round her.  She must continue on the path that leads through many dark moments - from Josephs's dismay at her pregnancy to the moment when Jesus is said to be out of His mind (cf Mk 3:21;Jn 10:20), right up to the night of the cross.

How often in these situations must Mary have returned inwardly  to the hour  when God 's angel had spoken to her, pondering afresh the greeting: "Rejoice, full of grace!" and the consoling words: "Do not be afraid!"  The angel departs; her mission remains, and with it matures her inner closeness to God, a closeness that in her heart she is able to see and touch,". (Pg 37 -38)

Her task was unbelievable, at times unendurable, yet she believed and endured, because she knew His love, and as our Mother she intercedes for each of us that we may be filled with that love also. She is a Our Lady, Our Mother and there is no beauty in this world, or the next, that can exceed hers.  And the Father's using her in His plan of Salvation is also a reflection on how complete His redemption of us will be.  Let me put up another passage from Pope John Paul's general audience text:

"The Father of mercies willed that the Incarnation should be preceded by the acceptance of her who was predestined to be the mother of his Son, so that just as a woman contributed to death, so also a woman should contribute to life. That is true in outstanding fashion of the mother of Jesus, who gave to the world him who is Life itself and who renews all things, and who was enriched by God with the gifts which befit such a role. It is no wonder therefore that the usage prevailed among the Fathers whereby they called the mother of God entirely holy and free from all stain of sin, as though fashioned by the Holy Spirit and formed as a new creature. Adorned from the first instant of her conception with the radiance of an entirely unique holiness, the Virgin of Nazareth is greeted, on God's command, by an angel messenger as 'full of grace,' and to the heavenly messenger she replies: 'Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word.' Thus Mary, a daughter of Adam, consenting to the divine Word, became the mother of Jesus, the one and only Mediator. Embracing God's salvific will with a full heart and impeded by no sin, she devoted herself totally as a handmaid of the Lord to the person and work of her Son, under him and with him, by the grace of almighty God, serving the mystery of redemption" (LG 56). 

Thus in Mary and through Mary the situation of humanity and of the world has been reversed, and they have in some way re-entered the splendor of the morning of creation.

Joy!  Just think of what God has given us in Mary, just think of what it means for you and me who are individuals mired in our sinfulness, in our disordered desires and in our fears.  I believe it means that -with our daily Fiat, and our daily repentance -  our redemption will not only be a wiping out of even our worst sins,  but a complete reversal of all that enslaves us.  What ever sin that tempts you and makes you cringe in shame about yourself, will, when you give it to Him, with faith and in due time, be sanctified and reordered to serve God.  Trust Him as Mary did!  If your worst sin is cowardice, God will bring about in you a reversal and He will allow you opportunities to become courageous and bold for Him.  If it is lust, God will draw out from you the truest, most pure, devoted and passionate love of Him and of all His creation in it's beauty and power.  What astounding mercy!  What an awesome gift! But your daily repentance and your daily fiat and also your daily endurance in faith, modeled after Mary, is needed.  And Mary, in her Immaculate Conception and in her radiant and unique holiness, is the model, par excellence, of Christ's words to us in Revelation:  "Behold, I make all things new." 

Hail Mary, full of grace!

The Lord is with you!

Blessed are you among women,

and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God 

Pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death.

Amen

Click here for a reflection on the same passage in Pope Benedict's Jesus of Nazareth by the most awesome Monsignor Pope

Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God

Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus and me!
 Luke Knofczynski

Since it is still Christmas we still have our decorations up and Christmas music is playing throughout our house. There are abundant platters of Christmas goodies placed out and the kids are enjoying their annual feasting on the chocolate ornaments that have replaced the little Nativity storybook ornaments that were read and hung on the tabletop Advent tree. And, we are all still pondering the story of Emmanuel.

If your Advent was like ours it was busy, hectic and messy!  All of the Advent devotions done with the kids seemed chaotic and disorderly. It was very often the antithesis of quiet reflection!  Still, the Christ child came quietly and silently into the chaos of the entertaining, decorating, traveling, cooking, et cetera.  And because he comes so quietly into the celebrations, we are invited to step back, if only in the depth of our heart, and like Mary reflect.

The readings for the Octave Day of the Nativity of the Lord Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God include the story found in the Gospel of Luke 2:16-21:

 "The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger.  When they say this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child.  All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds.  And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.  Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the had seen, just as it had been told to them.

When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by an angel before he was conceived in the womb."

And we are to ponder not in befuddled arrogance, demythologizing the story into oblivion, but in pure hearted wonder and awe, like Mary.  Looking at the frail babe in her arms, pondering his miraculous conception and all the gracious signs that the Lord had given her so that she could continue forward in her great Fiat!  What great wonder must have stirred in her heart.

  I know there are many who study scripture who have taken the prophesies of -and the Gospel story itself - of the virginal conception and birth of the messiah apart; only to put it back together entirely devoid of wonder and awe, and entirely barren of the life it is intended to give.  When I hear these theories I immediately think of the Parable of the Sower.  The birth of the Savior has been stripped of it's fertile soil, and it cannot be planted deeply, and repeatedly pondered. Whatever grace it bestows will be taken away as soon as the dryness of ordinary life returns.

There is still hope!  The miracle of the Incarnation and the miracle of conceiving life everlasting where there should be none or where the soil is dry and hostile, is always being cultivated in the hearts of those who ponder, like Mary.  Purity of heart can begin to be restored in one who ponders the story of the Nativity of Christ!  Life can be regenerated in hearts like mine, hearts that have a tendency become slaves to fear and cynical in our weaknesses or in reaction to the hurtful actions of others. They are regenerated when we receive and reflect on the message of the angel and trust it to be so.

Allow yourself embrace the miraculous conception of the Lord so that you can be a child of Mary, who bore the Savior in humble trust! Imitate her reflective heart and receive the Spirit of his Son so that we all may cry out Abba, Father, and be freed from the tyranny of cynicism and the slavish spirit of this world!

Merry Christmas!
Heidi

   

The Canticle of Hannah

The readings for yesterday's Mass were about Hannah offering her little Samuel to Eli. This is one of those stories that haunt me all day.  I keep thinking about it and a question keeps rising from my soul:  "what are you asking of me Lord?"  I realize that I have no heart to receive the deep profound grace of God if I cannot entrust to the Lord all that I hold most dear.

1 Sm 1:24-28

In those days,

Hannah brought Samuel with her,

along with a three-year-old bull, and ephah of flour, and a skin of wine,

and presented him at the temple of the LORD in Shiloh.

After the boy's father had sacrificed the young bull, 

Hannah, his mother, approached Eli and said:

"Pardon, my lord!

As you live, my lord,

I am the woman who stood near you here, praying to the LORD.

I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request.

Now I, in turn, give him to the LORD;

as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the LORD."

She left Samuel there.

What are you asking of me Lord?

That last line is a difficult one for me to read.  I can't imagine taking my three year old daughter and placing her in the care of someone else and leaving! Can you see why this haunts me with the question "what are you asking of me?" I am not capable of that level of sacrifice, and why would the Lord ever need such a heart wrenching act? It seems cruel to separate a young child from his mother, (and if you have read the whole story you know that Eli did not do such a great job with his own sons)! Who is this God whose holiness is so awesome that such a sacrifice is warranted, and how can He ever heal the devastating heartache of a mother who no longer has her child to hold?  My soul cries out for an answer.   I know that I can never fully understand the ways of God here in this Valley of Tears,  but these readings keep whispering to me.  Though my heart breaks for Hannah and her little Samuel, I am seeing that God can be trusted for He is forging the path back to Himself, and He is the refuge for the brokenhearted.  Hannah has put all of her trust in Him, she holds nothing back.  

Open your heart to His majesty!

 This child, Samuel, factors big in salvation history and is close to the Lord in a mysterious way! He listens and hears the Lord, maybe it is because he has learned from his mother that the unfathomable God is to be entrusted with everything we have, and our hearts should always be listening for His gentle calling.  In the end it is my fear of pain as well as a superficial understanding of things that are holy and sacred that prevents me from hearing this passage, and what it has to ask of me.  And I am being asked in this reading to open my heart and trust in the mysterious majesty of God!  For as the readings continue we see that God's power works from generation to generation, and that He never forgets or overlooks the little ones, who have no where to go and no one they can completely trust.

Withhold nothing from God!

The Responsorial Psalm is taken from Hannah's canticle to God after she has left Samuel at the temple, and Hannah's canticle foreshadows Mary's, who will also suffer the loss of her son.   Neither woman lets the anxiety, or the pain of this world harden their hearts and so dampen their joy at being blessed with a child.  They do not protect themselves from loss by loving less, or holding back anything from God.  Their lives are an offering to God and their hearts are always in trusting prayer.  They understand that all that they have is God's and that nothing can be withheld from God.  They trust in The Lord who fulfills His promises to even the lowly barren woman, or a poor maiden of Nazareth.

 Luke 1: 46-56:

Mary Said:

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;

my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

For he has looked upon his lowly servant,

from this day all generations will call me blessed:

the Almighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him 

in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm,

and has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel

for he remembered his promise of mercy.

the promise he made to our fathers,

to Abraham and his children forever."

Rejoice in His redeeming mercy!

The sorrows and sacrifices of this world should always whisper to us "in the beginning it was not so".  They can reveal to us that we are indeed souls in exile; we are separated from the  Heavenly Bridegroom.  They should focus our hearts on the journey to God, if only we can trust that when the Lord casts down the pride in our hearts, He will not forget us!  If only we can allow his redeeming mercy to scatter the attachments to materiel things or even to the idea that we have more that just superficial control over the events of the world.  If we do not have these things sent away from our hearts we may not realize that our hopes for things eternal are withering, and our fears of the unknown future will consume us!  We will settle for so much less than what God has in mind for each one of us.  We have to learn to allow God to let us hunger for what is truly lasting!  And trust in His faithfulness in filling the empty.   If only we can endure and help others to endure as well, so that someday we will see with pure eyes that the longing we so often ache with will have its true and lasting fulfillment. It is in that longing that we should rejoice in his redeeming mercy, as a mother longs for her child or a bride for her bridegroom, because the longing is an sign of a place where it will be fulfilled.

God is faithful in all that He promises!

 Hannah understands, the sorrow of leaving her son should reveal how profoundly sorrowful our lives are without God's fruitful grace in our soul!  Her trust in the Lord makes straight the way for God's salvation for generations to come!  God is the one who will sooth all of these sorrows.   Mary understands. She does not reject what she does not fully comprehend.   She does not hide away from the pain and sacrifice she will watch her son go through, she loves deeply and her heart is pierced deeply.  There is nothing superficial or lukewarm about these women.  Their sorrow is deep, but their everlasting joy is deeper still!  And what is brought forth from these women of faith are beautiful songs that reveal God's fidelity down to the last generation!

What is God asking of me?

He is asking for me to trust in Him in sorrow and in joy.  To extend my hope from just the here and now into the future.  To cast down the envy and pride that keep my hopes from the heights of heaven.  To seek the Heavenly Bridegroom in whom all my longing will be fulfilled!

Grace and Peace to all!
Heidi






.

.

My reflection on Mary’s birth and importance in the Divine plan:

I've often wondered about Mary, her life and relationship to the Triune God, and her role in the salvation of humanity. My initial view of Mary was child-like: a perfect human being, not suffering the same woes as the rest of humanity-- very beautiful, blessed and holy. Bible study introduced me to her life and trials, so I thought I'd start praying the Rosary like all good Catholics do. I tried to discover the real Mary through St Louis De Montfort’s book, The Secret of the Rosary, but came away thinking I lacked in my devotion to Mary, ashamed in my thoughts and actions toward her. Not that I had disrespectful thoughts/actions, I just didn't have any special thoughts or actions toward Mary. No, she just seemed less important in the grand scheme of my life. Also, the way Mary is sometimes described by St. De Montfort and saints puts her in an ivory tower of sorts (for me anyway). She seemed so much unlike me that I began to feel she was more like the Ten Commandments, an indicator of my failures and sin in motherhood and as a disciple of Jesus--not seeing her as trusted role model. Perhaps, because I fell so in love with God after really studying the bible, I couldn't see Mary’s influence in my life. Then in my musings I began to contemplate her life as outlined in the mysteries of the Rosary, imagining her life as a teenager confronted with an unexpected pregnancy, totally breaking with the taboos of society in the realm of marriage and family. What courage she possessed to have said, ”Be it done to me according to Thy Word!” Yes, I could admire her trust and confidence in God to take care of her in this difficult and potentially life-threatening predicament. Next I pondered her pregnancy. Somehow Mary had to be extraordinarily special in her role as the Ark of the New Covenant, the God-bearer, the one to give God a human form. Back in the ancient days of wandering in the desert, the Israelites carried the most sacred words of God, a jar of manna and the staff of Aaron in the Ark. Remember the man who touched the Ark in David's time, and immediately died (2 Sam 6: 6-7). God somehow created a creature who was to hold Himself as Word, Son, Savior, yet not die! Someone to behold the face of God, and yet live! A mother who could contain within herself the Bread of Life and power of God...Ok, that would be someone special….According to St Andrew of Crete, “This is, in fact, the day on which the Creator of the world constructed His temple; today is the day on which by a stupendous project a creature becomes the preferred dwelling of the Creator.” How amazing is that—that a person could contain God! Now my erroneous ideas on the perfection of Mary were really crumbling, my disbelief that anyone could be that graced was in fact dissolving! Reflecting more on Mary made me realize that “Full of Grace” really means filled with all of God's grace necessary to complete the assigned mission. The mission of Mary, as God-bearer, was miraculous so the grace must also be miraculous, supernatural and full or complete when given to Mary. Only through the complete assistance of God, with the fullness of all needed grace, can I even imagine anyone enduring what Mary did in her life, as outlined in the mysteries of the Rosary and Bible. Thinking deeply on her life, the poverty and hunger, traveling by foot or donkey in hills and deserts, the fear and oppression from civil authorities, following the footsteps of Jesus where ever He went, suffering the loss of her beloved husband and Divine Son...Now after this pondering, I can finally see Mary as a role model and not a stumbling block, for her life, with all its challenges, exemplifies what is possible with the fullness of God’s grace. This grace is exactly what I need in this sometimes miserable life! And this grace from God is made possible because she said,”Yes!” Finally, with Mary’s “yes” and all that followed, I too am able to be a (very imperfect!) dwelling for a most Holy God, which is beyond comprehension! Thank you Mary, a most holy human model for all of us, as we strive to be like you, the most holy and perfect God-bearer! And thank you God for your creation, Mary!