Oh Jerusalem! Jerusalem! A Lament for Spirit Haunted Souls

Sometimes I am so disturbed by an event that I have too many thoughts to put into a straight reflection, and though I am not a trained poet ,(any constructive advice is appreciated) it is the only way to relate the emotions that I feel.  I originally wrote this  lament as an assignment for our Biblical School in Omaha. I choose to write about my disturbance over a few horrific events in 2008 and 2009, namely the horrible Von Maur shootings and the events surrounding the Boston Craigslist killings.  Two young men, created in the image and likeness of our Lord, whose moral and spiritual weakness completely undid them.  As individuals they were completely different, there corruption, however, was diabolically similar. While our  post Christian, scientific humanistic culture removes moral barriers, these young men progressed into selfishness and darkness that left their souls empty of hope. And we our stunned; we fool ourselves, by trying to remove the weapons that destroy the body, while complacently allowing these philosophies that subtly numb our yearning for transcendence and bind us to finite earthly hope.  Paving a rocky pathway to a desolation so dark that it claims you past, present and future. Destroying both body and soul! I still pray for their souls; I wish not one to go to Hell, particularly youth whose debasement was added and abetted by our toxic culture. I now add another young man to this lament!


Oh Jerusalem! Jerusalem!



My soul is sorrowful, even unto death
Take pity on our children
For we have lead them to darkness
Progressed them to the edge of Sheol;
Chaos
We despised archetypes,
Gave them platitudes, de-mythologized their world
Diminished hopes, famished souls
God, you would be their strength,
Their beauty!
Little souls now claim their weaknesses as their identity;

In the beginning it was not so!

Exchanging glory for shame, and call it freedom;
Post Christian,
trans-gendered slavery.

My soul is sorrowful, even unto death
Our children cry for strength,
They cry for meaning,
Purpose, dignity and honor;
Courage
Deathly emptiness haunts
They grasp at pleasure, wealth, and fame
Debased yearning for transcendence, hearken to the siren song of
Infamy
We have ignored eternal truth;
We have told them to find their own truth;
Founded in philosophies that have roots in

Selfishness;

In weakness;
In darkness.

Why are we surprised when evil overtakes them?
(Let your mighty wind blow over the abyss)
Why are we surprised that they have no strength?
(Let your mighty wind blow over the abyss)
When darkness debases and seduces them?
(Let you mighty wind blow over our souls)

My soul is sorrowful, even unto death
We are bloated with hedonism
Deprived of true joy
Darkness stalks us
We lack stamina, mere phantoms we go our way
Our eyes grow dim
Why are you sleeping?
Our young men are emasculated;
Seeking immortality through robbery, rape and murder
Why has no one told you?
Our young women are barren;
grasping at their beauty, ignorant of its meaning.
They have bought and sold you!
Empty bombast!  Slaves of corruption!
Why are you still sleeping?

My soul is sorrowful even unto death!

Within our midst kindle a blazing heart, multiply virtue
Awake Fear of the Lord
We fly to your protection in our desperation.
Let no more of our children be devoured by Leviathan,
ensnared by their own hunger;
The serpent who removes the small snares,
lures us to a bottomless pit.
Chaos!
Slaves of corruption!
Chaos!
Gratifying every desire of the flesh,
To become like rotted loincloths.
No longer clinging to you
Rotted loincloths!

In the beginning it was not so!
(Let your mighty wind blow over the abyss!)

Oh Jerusalem! Jerusalem!
(Let you might wind blow over the abyss!)
Do not fear what harms the body!
(Let the mighty wind blow over the chaotic abyss!)

Give us the strength to endure your justice;
Give us the heart to endure your mercy.



Peace and Grace,
Heidi

Summertime Shambles

What have you done this summer?  This has been an off year for me, I have not even tried to develop a schedule for the kids, so that I can remain a little sane, and the house can at least get the minimum maintenance. I am not sure what has happened to the time, but as usual, there are many things that I wanted to accomplish that I have not - this year is even more so.

Like for instance, figure out what exactly is my vision for this blog is, or have my 11 year old finally memorize all her math facts, read the Iliad and work with my rowdy hooligans so they are completely prepared for school which is right around the corner. I did not even get my kids to the summer library program, which is the first time that has happened since ....1994.  I am plodding away, but even when I accomplish something, the stuff I have not done looms even larger, and the days are slipping away! I feel completely out of control!

This past week (is it really FRIDAY already????), I have..... read to my kids...made Miranda read to her siblings, weeded the overgrown gardens, started my 16 year old on his summer reading, looked at Facebook, email, blogs email, blogs ect, ect... had dinner ready for my husband, organized... looked at my vacation pictures, threw in a couple loads of laundry, ironed, attend daily mass...went to one daily mass (don't be impressed, I went this morning and it is the one and only daily mass I have made it to all summer). I could go on and on, but I am tired of hitting the strikethrough button.

Sigh.... I also did manage (barely) to remember to get that Sass Master Sophia to her community center dance class, and though I did get her hair brushed and put up, I failed to make sure that she had some shorts on under her skirt so the entire class now knows that, unbeknownst to me, she was wearing her brothers underwear. I should be glad that she had underwear on at all, because that is not a given.

I have not only failed in quite a few of my cultural pursuits for myself and my children, but I have failed to get down and serious about my prayer journal, about my Scripture readings. Which is really frustrating, because the summers usually give me at least a little quiet time in the morning while the rest of the kids sleep in to go a little deeper. This year the baby has been up before me almost every morning, except when we were on vacation. At this point in my summer, I am beginning to feel hopeless, any effort to pray gets diffused by so many distractions, so, consequently I feel far away from the Lord. Here is where I usually give up.



My spiritual director would remind me to keep praying when I can, and, in true Ignation style, when I am beginning to feel hopeless and far away from the Lord, to pray just a wee bit more. God first, always even when I do not feel like it - especially when I don't feel like it - and most especially when it feels like I am wasting my time. Which is why, after my very distracted and interrupted morning prayer and Scripture time, I moved heaven and earth (I got 16 year old Stephen out of bed by 8am) to get to mass by myself. And what do you suppose the 1st reading was?

Isaiah 38:1When Hezekiah was mortally ill, the prophet Amoz came and said to him: "Thus says the Lord, put your house in order, for you are about to die..."

Well. that was distracting! My thought was: "I know, I know, I am drowning in disorganization,but really, I am hopeless, I can't even see how to get my rag-tag household in order!"  But the readings continued, and we heard that Hezekiah prayed to the Lord and his hopeless illness was healed by the Lord.

 And then the Gospel of Matthew:

Mt 12:1-8  Jesus was going through a field of grain on the sabbath.  His disciples were hungry and began to pick the heads of grain and eat them.  When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, "See, your disciples are doing what is unlawful to do on the sabbath."  He said to them, "Have you not read what David did when he and his companions were hungry, how he went into the house of God and ate the bread of offering, which neither he nor his companions but only the priests could lawfully eat?  Or have you not read in the law that on the sabbath the priests serving in the temple violate that sabbath and are innocent?  I say to you something greater than the temple is here.  If you knew what this meant, I desire mercy, not sacrifice, you would not have condemned these innocent men.  For the Son of Man is Lord of the sabbath."

He is greater than my messes, He is greater than any of my successes, He is Lord of my ambitions, Lord of my desires and Lord of my failures. And it is my failures that allow me to begin to see the tremendous gulf between me and the Lord; not in selfish self-conscientiousness, but with awe and reverence. Because I am the lowly, rag-tag disciple hungering for more, and He defends me against the savvy accusers. I am cast down so he can lift me up and I am weak enough for His glory to show through me. If I let Him. If I push my ego out of the way and take up His yoke, as we heard in yesterday's Gospel. Pray that I do so, I will pray for you also.

As I was coming back from receiving Him in the Eucharist, I felt Him ask me if I felt any better.  I said yes, I think I can take on my day, and the rest of my summer. And I will trust that He will reform it into something only He could accomplish....now to get started on those vacation pictures!

Peace and Grace,

Heidi

Probe me God: A reflection on Psalm 139

Truly you have formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mothers womb.  I give you thanks that I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

What a beautiful Psalm!  These words inspire me in true wonder and awe of the Lord, and with great gratitude and appreciation of the creation of each and every person.  It was read on the Solemnity of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist, who proclaimed a baptism of repentance, and this post is looking at Psalm 139 through the eyes of John. We are often so deformed in sin that we need to hear the words of the prophet anew, and understand how deep this hope of renewal goes. And, I don't know about you, but I need the humility to remember that, yes I am good because I have been created in His image and likeness, but I am also fallen.  I don't want to live easy with my sinfulness, it is destroying me.  I want my hope and my regeneration to begin today.  It is easy to affirm someone who is deeply enmeshed in degrading sin as a child of God, and then leave them there, but when the shame bubbles up again, unless that individual has a higher and stronger faith, he or she may simple be affirmed to sit in death's shadow.

  At the birth of his son Zachariah breaks out with a spirit-filled canticle:

"And you, child, will be called prophet of the Most High, for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give his people knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of  their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God by which the daybreak from on high will visit us, to shine on those who sit in darkness and death's shadow" Luke 1:76-79

I, who have been made so wonderfully, and with such a high destiny, I am often mired in darkness of sin, and cowering in the deathly shadow of guilt.  So,even if I know that I am a wonderful creation in the image and likeness of God, still I am overwhelmed by the devastation that is wrought by sin and concupiscence in my soul. I am stalked by past guilt, hurt and rejections.  I am put down by current tendencies to envy and tenacious false identities. And the calloused and dark wounds in my heart quietly prompt deep suspicions that subtly corrupt my motives!  How can I ever recover?  And I live in a time that is both highly judgmental on a superficial level, yet very complacent about enduring with those who struggle with truly devastating sin, and the dark shame and anger that hide with it. I need to deepen my shallow hopes in redemption.  Each one of us needs to encourage others to allow the Lord to probe us deeply, again and again. We need to be humble so we can let the Spirit blow into the god forsaken areas of our souls.

So here is the rest of the Psalm above:

Psalm 139:2-16;23

You know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar. My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord you know it all. Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me. Such knowledge is beyond me, far too lofty for me to reach. Where can I hide from your spirit? From your presence where can I flee? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I lie down in Sheol, you are there too. If I fly with the wings of dawn and alight beyond the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand hold me fast. If I say, "Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light" Darkness is not dark for you and night shines as the day, Darkness and light are but one. You formed my inmost being; you knot me in my mother's womb. I praise you, so wonderful you made me; wonderful are your works. My very self you knew; my bones are not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. You saw me unformed......Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concerns. See if my way is crooked then lead me in the ancient path."

Awhile ago I was meditating on this passage during my Adoration hour, I was praying about a situation that had recently been in the news in which God's great mercy and healing seemed to be missing.  It was a situation in which a lonely, rejected individual committed a ghastly crime.  This young man who eventually took his own life was filled with rage and contempt for himself, and for a society that offered him so little in terms of transcendence and ultimate hope that his existence was not merely an accident.  I began to think about the many, many people who are lost in the darkness of sin, or weighed down by terrible shame, yet even in our mostly Christian culture, seem to be without hope of redemption.  Many of these people struggle with relating to others, sometimes as a result of inborn tendencies, or from traumas that were not of their making.  They are isolated, lonely and filled with a hopeless rage.   I looked back at my journal where I quoted the first lines of the Psalm:  You know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar. My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord you know it all.  Beside it wrote: "really?  WHERE ARE YOU!"  next to it.  After that I had scribbled a line from the Matt Maher song, You Were On The Cross:

"Where were you when sin stole my innocence?
Where were you when I was ashamed?

 Hiding in a life I wish I'd never made"

It is hard for anyone to wholeheartedly believe that the Lord cares "when I sit and when I stand" or that "I am wonderfully made", when we are acutely aware of how little our souls resembles the high dignity and glory they were created for.  And in the case I was praying about this young man knew how deformed he was, but he had no hope of being reformed because he had no hope that he was created by God and that God willed him to be reformed.  It is even harder in our cynical times of superficial love and sentimental catch phrases to awaken a sense of repentance that is more than just self pity!  And there are still many who are in darkness and in death's shadow, unaware that the tender mercy of our God can and will penetrate anything. We are the ones who need to make them aware, we need to pray for the daybreak from on high to break out upon them, wherever they are!  We are to follow in the footsteps of the Baptist!


The Psalm now begins to whisper to me:  Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand! Repent, for the powers that would enslave you have no power over Him. Repent, for God has never left you; though it may be too dark for you to see Him, He sees you. His hand is upon you! Do not be too proud to allow Him to show you your darkest sins, they are not dark to Him. He knows what they have done to you. Do not be afraid to reveal your most depraved desires or your most wretched fears, he is greater and stronger than any of them.  He can retrieve you from the Sheol in your soul that imprisons you.  Do not be afraid of the chaos sin has stirred up, for His Spirit is with you, encircling you and His mighty wind blows over the dark and formless wastelands in each of our souls, reforming and renewing them. Repent, for the kingdom is at hand!  His light will illuminate the way.

Then I underlined the last line, as a daily prayer for myself, and for many others who do not yet know to pray it. "Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concerns. See if my way is crooked then lead me in the ancient path." 

 

  Here is the refrain to You Were On The Cross, the song quoted above:

You were on the cross.
You were there in all of my suffering,
You were there in doubt and in fear,
I am waiting on the dawn to reappear.

Go out and en-kindle a hope that salvation and reformation are at hand; a hope that no one is an accident or beyond His tender mercy; a hope that is beyond all the sorrows of this world!

Peace and grace,
Heidi

To Whom Shall You Go, updated

I have been completely absorbed in the the space trilogy by C.S. Lewis of late.  Actually, I read the first of the three, Out of the Silent Planet last summer, but I recently purchase the last two, Perelandra and That Hideous Strength.   They are books that I will be re-reading again in the future because there is so much there.

It was as I was reading That Hideous Strength that I came upon a passage that really impressed me.  It is a quote by a character named Dr. Dimble who is speaking to his wife as the final battle of the book is beginning.  He is on the side of good, but there are mysteries that he is grappling with that are hard for him to fully understand and his leader, the Director, has commanded him to accept.  As he is discussing these things over with his wife he says:

Have you ever noticed,.....that the universe, and every little bit of the universe, is always hardening and narrowing and coming to a point?....I mean this,....If you dip into any college, or school, or parish, or family- anything you like- at a given point in its history you always find that there was a time before that point when there was more elbow room and contrasts weren't quite so sharp; and that there's going to be a time after that point when there is even less room for indecision and codices are even more momentous.  Good is always getting better and bad is always getting worse:  the possibilities of even apparent neutrality are always diminishing."  pg.280-281 

That captured my attention. We are, for a time, gathered in and then - as with the Biblical image of a winnowing fan - we are separated out.  And there are examples of situations that, for a time, are accepted as morally neutral or tolerated as a necessity of an era in the Bible, but that eventually are revealed as unacceptable, such as Old Testament polygamy.  Polygamy is certainly presented in the Bible as something that is accepted, but it is definitely a falling from the original Biblical example of marriage.  And if you read your Bible carefully you see that though it is not wrong for Jacob or David to have multiple wives and concubines, it costs them something.  Look at the jealousies and rivalries that come of it.  The eventual splitting of the Davidic Kingdom has it's beginnings in the corrosive effect of polygamy.  And the cost is sent on down through the generations, until it is time to see and understand; until it is time to make a choice.  As we progress through salvation history, or even our own lives it will eventually come down to a choice, a terrible choice that requires clarity of vision and tenacious clinging to the Word of God.  Our eternal destiny will rest on it.

"They rejected his statutes, the covenant which he had made with their fathers.  The vanity they pursued, they themselves became; they followed the surrounding nations whom the Lord commanded them not to imitate."  2 Kings:17

These thoughts have been turning over in my head for a while now, the passage in That Hideous Strength just brought new clarity for me, especially in the wake of some acrimonious discussions, with fellow Catholics, over the issue of so called "gay-marriage".  But it is not that issue that primarily bothers me, that is one of many moral issues that are confronting us in our time.  It is the confluence of these moral issues, the "culture wars", and the increasing ferocity of the battles over them between fellow Catholics, that signal to me that we are coming to a point in our society.  Choices will have to be made, and I wonder how clear we, as Catholics, see what is at stake.


The  reading of the day I was writing this post  (Saturday, April 28) makes this even more urgent in my mind:

 "Many disciples of Jesus who were listening said, 'This saying is hard; who can accept it?'  Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, 'Does this shock you?  What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?  It is the Spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail.   The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life,  But there are some of you who do not believe.'  Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.  And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father."  As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer walked with him.  Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?"  Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."   John 6 60-69

This is at the end of the Bread of Life discourse.  Jesus is telling his followers to believe that they must "feed on me" or they will have no life in them.  These disciples are shocked; they are confronted with something hard to believe, something that seems foolish and not rational (verse 42:  and they said, "Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph?  Do we not know his father and mother?  Then how can he say, 'I have come down from heaven'?").    Many of the Lord's disciples no longer walked with Jesus from that point on. They left Him, they made a choice based on vain worldly wisdom and they departed from Wisdom in person. But Peter, shows us that he has clung to and believed in the words of the Lord, and when confronted with the choice - though he is not yet perfected in his belief, nor does he fully understand what the Lord is saying- his love for the Lord clears the way for his courageous words:  "Master, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life." Peter sees what is at stake!  And it is this choice that prepares Peter to humbly trust in Jesus, even after Peter betrays Him.  Peter does not despair in his failure but receives with trust and faith the abundant mercy of the Lord.

I wonder if we have been given just enough of Jesus in our religious instruction to make us think that we know what His love means, but in reality we have inoculated ourselves from being truly transformed by His radical love. His radical love is not tepid "acceptance" or "tolerance", it is a purifying fire which will make you fit for eternal life. Unless you have ordered your life on His Commandments, putting His will in the forefront of all that you think, do, and say, and humbly repenting when you fail, it will be difficult to understand what a shallow sham our culture has made of Jesus, love and religion. It will be difficult to discern the True God and his will from the culture's gods, which will send you off in vain pursuits of worldly acclaim and worldly wisdom. From this stand point a degenerative blindness seems to set in, and in the end, even when the choice is presented point blank, it becomes too difficult to perceive what is at stake. You will become the vanity you pursue and defend!

 So how can we discern the will and love of God in a time when love is perverted, materialistic, and when our lack of knowledge of our Savior Himself is used to blind and divert ourselves from Him? Do you see a hardening and narrowing happening as I do?  Does it seem that we are on the edge of momentous choices, where everything we need to make the right choice is given to us, but many cannot or will not seek it?  I fear that the longer we try to straddle between the two paths:  the one of Jesus and eternal life and the path of worldly vanity, the less we will be able to make the courageous decisions that will be required of us when confronted with a final opportunity to choose eternal life. "the possibilities of even apparent neutrality are always diminishing."

To whom shall you go?  To whom shall you cling to?  A terrible choice is beginning to emerge for all of us, can you see what is at stake?-choose life, not death.

Peace and Grace,
Heidi

Unrestrained Love or Coffee Spoons? A Meditation on the Feast of the Visitation

 Today is the Feast of the Visitation, when Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth.  This feast is a wonderful opportunity to ponder how we encounter and respond to the movements of the Lord.  Mary hears the words of the Angel Gabriel, and she believes.  She believes and she responds, not only with her great fiat -"be it done to me according to thy word" - but also with an immediate act of charity and generosity, anticipating the needs of her cousin.  In haste Mary goes to Elizabeth, who is expecting to give birth "in her old age" to the prophet John the Baptist.  Mary holds nothing back, she responds to God immediately, and He in turn holds nothing back from her. God responds to Mary's unrestrained giving of herself with a joyous affirmation, by Elizabeth, of the unbelievable events that are occurring. Elizabeth's prophetic response to the Holy Spirit was:

"Most blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb.  And how does it happen to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  For the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy,  Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." 

Both she and Elizabeth believed and responded with the whole of their hearts!  What would happen if you and I responded to God with such generosity?  What would happen if all the passion and desire that we so easily allow to misdirect us, or, even worse, through fear we suppress, were given over to the Lord with a daily fiat? What could happen if we accepted our lowliness, our nothingness without fear and allowed the Mighty One to sweep us away in His divine love?  What could happen if we did not avoid the deep emptiness that reveals our spiritually starved souls, but feared comfort that dulls and obscures our longings until it was too late and we are too lost?  Time is running out for you and for me.  Can we respond with Mary's beautiful canticle, rejoicing in our nothingness, because it is that humility which allows the unfathomable love of God to direct our paths through this valley of tears?

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him. He has shown might with his arm, dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart. He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones; but lifted up the lowly. The hungry he has filled with good things; the rich he has sent away empty. He has helped Israel his servant remembering his mercy according to his promise to our fathers, to Abraham and to his descendants forever."

Maybe this seem like an odd diversion, but I have just re-read T.S. Eliot's poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  There are various analyses of the poem, but just today I watched a YouTube video on the Holy Spirit by Father Robert Barron in which he used a quote from the poem, " I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" as an example of a life lived withholding generous love.  A life lived afraid and unresponsive to passion and desire, and Prufrock is aware that time is running out. It struck me that the frustrated sense of decay, unfulfilled longings and desires that  permeates the poem speaks of a lack of the overflowing love of the Spirit of God.  A withholding of love indicates a lack of love. The stanza before has Prufrock wondering "Do I dare disturb the universe?"  Well, with the Spirit of God directing those longings, desires and passions they will not only not be suppressed, they will fearlessly pour out with love unending and disturb the universe, but in a way according to the word of God. 

Brothers and sisters:  Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; anticipate one another in showing honor.  Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you, do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation.  Romans 12: 9-16

 Respond to God as Mary did; disturb the universe! Not by grasping at power or by fantasizing about mighty deeds, but by the transformation of your heart and soul through the humble reception of the Word! Let the Spirit flow through you with courage and joy, anticipating the needs of others and pouring out with unrestrained love.  Do you dare disturb the universe?  Do I?  Let us pray with Mary and Elizabeth today for an unrestrained and passionate response to the Spirit!

Peace and Grace!

Heidi

Relections on John 17: High Priestly Prayer

A Morning Mom’s Reflection on Words of the Risen Christ bible study by Rich Cleveland—16 May 2012   Chapter 1:  John 17:1-26:

Jesus High Priestly prayer

(in other words) Jesus’ pep talk to Disciples at the Last Supper

In the beginning verses (vs 1-5), Jesus summarizes his mission as follows:  to give God glory through obedience and doing the work God gave Jesus to do, to give eternal life to all God has chosen, to show God’s life and love, to make God known.  Jesus gives us an amazingly simple definition of eternal life:  to know the only true God and Jesus Christ, his son.  Yet to know is more than just a simple head knowledge, but involves accepting, understanding and following a way of love, shown to us by Jesus.   As Christians we are called to listen and ponder God’s word, to keep God’s word by living a life of love and self-sacrifice, walking the same path as Jesus, our “personal Lord and Savior.” 

For all of us moms, teaching our children about the faith and that “personal” relationship can be challenging.  For the most part, we set examples within the home and daily life on living life with respect and love for our God, family members and neighbors.   We bring them to our non-entertaining Mass each week, knowing they really don’t comprehend the significance, can barely sit still and poke at each other.  Yet with the passage of many years the ritual and routine of it all sinks in deep, so we might begin to contemplate God during mass and let Him in.  In fact, we have all seen or heard stories of our elderly family members recite those “repetitious” prayers (Hail Mary, Our Father) at the moment of extreme illness and death, with great serenity.  As for us who witness these struggles with illness or the passage to the next life, the ill person brings us great peace and joy as we see their deep faith as they whisper the name of the Lord.  We know the Lord is truly present and our loved one is in the hands of God. 

In contrast, some of us have seen great struggles and anxiety individuals go through when they lack a personal knowledge and faith in God, and they are now confronted with a personal or family tragedy.  Even we, who believe, have struggled to fully surrender all our lives and problems to God.  In our usual human fashion we try to be in control at all times, and sometimes feel a heavy burden to keep peace going in our hectic motherly lives.  Besides the methods of time out, play in room by self, and go outside and play, a few in the Morning Moms group have tried reciting a daily recommitment to God (Morning Offering prayer).  Some of us find surrendering minute by minute, situation to situation, is also helpful.  One American Idol star had her wrist tattooed with a feather, symbolizing the lightness of all her problems when given to and managed by God.  I think our group is thinking about renaming our group the “Feather Moms,” but we didn’t decide on what kind of feathers we were getting (tattoo, hair accessory, bracelet…)

Continuing on…We discussed our thoughts on the “personal relationship” with Jesus, a very protestant sounding term which we’ve heard more about during homilies at mass.   As Catholics, we live a life of unity with the Body of Christ, his Church, so that personal relationship concept can seem a bit foreign.   From the verses 6-19, we see Jesus praying for his disciples and find out what the personal connection to the Savior entails:   Keep them in your Name, Unity with the Father and Son, a complete share in Christ’s joy, protection from the evil one, consecration in truth.

Keep them in your Name:  The revelation of God’s name has several meanings for us.  It lets Him be known and be called upon for protection and guidance.  It creates intimacy between us and God.  It engenders respect, for as we respect His name, we respect the God of all creation.  Teaching respect of God’s name is particularly difficult with the children as they are exposed to careless uses of God and Jesus Christ in the school environment.  Actually my own children helped me stop with their gentle and never-failing reminders.  Another mom found the sacrament of reconciliation brought powerful grace to help her stop misuses of God’s name.  A short booklet by Tan Publishing, The Wonders of the Holy Name, by Fr Paul O’Sullivan, goes into more details about this topic.  Finally, Pope Benedict wrote in Jesus of Nazareth, II, “The revelation of God’s name is a new mode of God’s presence among men, a radically new way in which God makes his home with them.” Pg 91  How awesome to have God-with-Us always present, never far away!

The prayer for unity occurs four times in this middle section of chapter 17, so it must be important.  The goal of unity is so that the world may know Jesus has been sent by God.  Pope Benedict writes in Jesus of Nazareth II, (paraphrased) through the unity of the disciples, the truth of his mission is made visible for men and makes visible the workings of a higher power (pg96).  We didn’t discuss this too much in our group but this makes an interesting topic for discussion.

On joy:  verse 13, “…I speak this in the world so that they may share my joy completely.”  I’m still a little fuzzy just what Jesus meant about this joy stuff.  Sometimes life just brings you down and you feel the weight of the world.   For the sake of sanity and happiness within your family, we moms sometimes keep it all in so as not to ruin everyone’s day, keep peace and not have the whole home situation blow up.  Yet in some respects, showing love and giving peace in difficult circumstances can be a gift of God, a fruit of our communion with him.  Jesus, faced with an apparently failed mission, nearing arrest and certain death, continued to trust in God.  Jesus is rooted in the… “divine “we” of Father and Son through the Holy Ghost controls all things.  Here are Jesus roots; here is his peace, source of his invulnerable strength and union.  (pg 18, Romano Guardini writings in the book, Words of the Risen Christ).  One insightful mom stated, “Joy follows peace.”  AHHHH (light bulb going off!).  So Jesus in his desperate hours reveals the truth of his mission, but that the world will not accept it and hate it (disciples becoming downhearted), and the world will continue to hate the disciples, as they believe in Jesus word and mission (disciples more bummed).  Yet Jesus reveals union with God, leads to all kinds of good:  protection from evil, oneness that is brought to perfection, knowledge of and sharing in God’s love, everlasting life and seeing God’s glory:   the true joy that God offers after unity with Him (Father, Son and Holy Spirit).

Keep them from the evil one, vs15:  Much discussion on current topics affecting our nation and church.  Secular society views life differently than a Catholic Christian which can lead to bad feelings between family members, friends, classmates, people.   Jesus says to expect that the world will hate God’s view on life, so this is something to expect, not be surprised about.  Despite the world’s hatred, Jesus calls us to teach, love, listen and ponder God’s word, and spread the message of God’s love.  Make sure we teach our children the faith.  Be in the world but don’t be a part of the culture of hate and hostility to God.  Our church teaches prayer and fasting to overcome difficulties.  Be a good citizen and vote for change.  Definitely take up Jesus’ advice not to worry or fear!  Luke 12:22-34 can be a useful meditation on useless worry.

Finally, consecrate them in the truth, vs 17: Jesus asks that his disciples be completely dedicated to God’s service, which is a mission of love to the world. (Collegeville Bible Commentary, The Gospel According to John, pg72).   Ending of the chapter (vs 26) summarizes all that Jesus came to do for us:   “I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them. “   What an incredible promise!  To fully know God and his love, to really take hold of it, within ourselves! Just what are the possibilities for us, knowing that we are joined to the Creator of the universe!  Filled with all that He is, how can we not go out to spread that good news?

In the final analysis, Jesus is awesome!  He offers us so much if we only open our hearts to believe and trust in Him. 

Peace!  Janet

A Garden Canticle

Spring is here, and in this Marian month of May, with yard work and spring cleaning in progress (okay, I have not started spring cleaning) my two youngest and I spent a morning playing under the watchful and peaceful gaze of Mary. I tried to say a Rosary while the kids were running and climbing, but alas!  Motherhood means praying on the run, so instead I let my spirit lead me:  How can you resist praying her beautiful canticle from Luke 1: 46-55?

My soul does magnify the Lord.  And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour.  Because He has regarded the humility of His handmaid:  for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.  Because He that is mighty has done great things for me:  and holy is His name.

And His mercy is from generation unto generations, to them that fear Him.  He has shown the might of His arm:  He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.  He has put down the mighty from their seat and has exalted the humble.  

He has filled the hungry with good things:  and the rich He has sent empty away.  He has received Israel His servant, being mindful of His mercy.  And He spoke to our fathers:  to Abraham and to his seed forever.

We had only one mishap, Max pulled a wheel barrow full of soil on top of himself!  Nothing that a hug and a bath did not fix! And it gave me pause to reflect that even when we have muddied ourselves in our sin, we know that Our Lady will gently guide us into reconciliation and repentance so that we can be cleansed in His loving mercy!  

May the prayers of the Mother of God be with all who read this blog. May her praise of our Lord ring joyfully in our hearts!  And may we respond to her request to "do whatever He asks of you."

Peace and Grace,

Heidi