Lord, I Just Want You!

A reflection on Psalm 131 by Heidi Knofczynski

"Lord, I do not puff myself up or stare about,
or walk among the great or seek wonders beyond me.
Truly calm and quiet I have made my spirit:
quiet as a weaned child in its mother’s arms –
like an infant is my soul.
Let Israel hope in the Lord, now and for all time."
Psalm 131

A while ago, in our usual mad rush to get out the door to school on time, my little preschool daughter had a meltdown over her socks. They did not feel right, and there was nothing I could do to make them feel right.

We were already running late for school, there were no socks that were an adequate replacement for the offensive pair she was wearing, so in frustrations I screamed, “I can’t help you!! I don’t know what you need!”

 Crouched on the floor with tears streaming and fists clenched she took a deep breath, and softly said: “I just want you!” 

Sigh! We were late for school.

She climbed up into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck , sobbed a little more but very quickly relaxed. She was feeling rejected at school, and had no idea how to handle it.  In stead of seeking help, she held in her hurt and fear until she could not hold it in anymore.  In reality, she just needed a few words to reassure her of her worth and dispel the murmuring worries in her head about what the other girls thought of her. From there she was ready to go forth, quietly forgive them, and be friends again.

Her response epitomizes to me what this Psalm is getting at.

The world is filled with complex problems that we cannot always avoid.  We need to have the childlike humility that can cry out to the Lord in times when the murmuring voices confuse us and breed isolating, prideful self-sufficiency in our dealing with the very real hurts and problems that come our way.  "Lord, I just need you" should be a constant prayer that rises up out of our hearts.  Especially when we feel attacked and misunderstood and are tempted to justify ourselves with empty accomplishments, and puffed up self-justification.  We need to allow Him some quiet moments to reassure us of our infinite worth in His heart and to hush the murmuring voices that confuse and distract us.  Peace and forgiveness have a chance when we can become like a child resting confidantly in her mother's arms.

Peace and grace,
Heidi