Journaling with Sharon: Examination of Conscience or Self-judgement

By Sharon Nelsen

This morning’s verse 10 from Psalm 103, revealed to me my disbelief:  The psalmist declares that God does not “treat us according to our sins nor repay us according to our faults.”  Intellectually, I have to accept that, but experientially, I do not believe it.  It feels like presumption to me.

I took that to the Lord in prayer and discovered that I believed the lie, not the truth.  The Lord led me to look at what was underneath the lie, what was keeping me from accepting the Peace God offers me in those wonderful, merciful words.  To my surprise, what surfaced was that I needed to look more closely at the differences between examining my conscience and self-judgment.  To that end, the Holy Spirit activated this understanding:

Examination of Conscience


1. Taking time to reflect on my motivations and acts

2. Believing “I have power and freedom to choose/decide.”

3. Desiring growth/challenge

4. Acting in the conviction that God is with me

5. Free to admit errors

6. Empowering

7. Encouraging

8. Affirming

9. Owns true self

10. Delights in one’s humanity



Self-judgment


Reacting to immediate accusations, “I should have…”

Believing “I am a victim; I really have no choice.”

Avoiding growth/challenge

Acting as if God is my adversary, against me

Fear of “being wrong”

Weakening

Discouraging

Condemning

Denies true self

Resents being human


If I believe the lies associated with self-judgment, then I will avoid healthy reflection on my acts. To help me change my habit, the Holy Spirit inspired me with a “Once Again Prayer”:



Dear Merciful, Compassionate Divine Friend,



Once again

I have fallen short

Once again

I ask your forgiveness

Once again

I rely on your mercy

Once again

I ask for Your Grace that I may

Once again

Serve you with my whole heart, my whole soul, my whole being

Once again

I give You the praise and the glory for all the good you have worked through me and will

Once again

Continue to work through me in spite of my faults and weaknesses.

Once again



I thank you, Dear Triune God, for being with me. Amen!